Just Another Day In Paradise

In my last entry I made two notes to self; one of which was kids listen to everything you say.

Tonight at dinner I was watching the news and reports were flying about the Rod Blagojevich trial.  I heard "guilty" and said "uh-oh."  Madelyn asked me what was wrong and I said, "Our former Governor did some bad things and is in trouble."  She asked, "What happened?"  I told her he was found guilty of a "Federal Offense."  She asked me if it was at our house.  I told her he didn't do anything to our house.  She started to ask some more questions and it finally occurred to me she thought Blago did something to our fence.  I guess "offence" does sound a lot like "our fence."  And since our dog did have a fit of rage which resulted in a large hole in our gate earlier this week, I could totally see her logic.

It was actually probably the most intelligent conversation I've had in awhile and that was pretty much the last peaceful thing that happened before all hell broke loose.  From there, things got a little dicey.

Here's how it goes:
Colin starts flinging corn at the dogs.  Then screams to get out of his seat. Then my "other children" the dogs, begin their evening ritual of begging for a walk. Because we usually walk them right after dinner, as soon as I take my last bite of food, they start barking, jumping and yes, humping each other.

Madelyn wants ice and water in a cup and literally 15 seconds after handing it to her she drops it sending ice chips flying all over the floor.  I quickly clean it up so no one slips. I keep my cool about the spill because I know it was an accident and there was no use freaking out.  She immediately wants more ice and water and before I could help her with the water dispenser, she has the cup overflowing and leaves another mess.

Meanwhile, Colin is standing on the dishwasher door trying to literally climb in to grab a steak knife.  In my frantic race to unload the dishwasher before someone gets hurt, I cut my finger on the apple slicer. Better him than me I guess. I try to find a band aid, but since Madelyn is going through a "Band aid Phase," there isn't a band aid in the entire house.  I finally find one in my secret stash in the diaper bag and avoid needing a blood transfusion.

And speaking of blood-shed, I am just about done cleaning up from dinner and amidst the chaos hear a yelp followed by one of those silent open mouth cries when in great pain...Colin bit Madelyn's finger.  I looked at it and I am shocked he didn't bite the damn thing right off.  No broken skin, but a very distinct impression on her delicate little finger.  Immediate band aid application ensued (thank God there were two in that secret stash!)

Colin trots past me and I catch a whiff of something and realize that he needs a new diaper despite the fact I just changed a poopy diaper 5 minutes before dinner.  I change him and just then Tom arrives home from work.  I send Colin on his way with a fresh diaper and while I am catching up with Tom for 30 seconds, I hear a loud crash followed by several items falling on the floor.  Colin has managed to pull Madelyn's crayon box off the kitchen table and sends 100 crayons flying across the kitchen floor.

I think we lock Colin in a cage in order to get through the next 20 minutes while Tom eats dinner and I color with Madelyn.  Not real sure, but somehow we get through it and I am finally off to walk the dogs and Tom brings the kids outside to run around with the neighbors. 

Bedtime finally rolls around and everyone goes down without incident.  Just another day in paradise.