Saturday, July 23, 2011

Happy Anniversary WTSD!

On August 21, 2010, I wrote my first blog. One year later so much has changed, but one thing remains the same… I love writing it.
When I first starting writing it, it was merely a way to be creative, keep my brain moving to avoid mental atrophy and to share my stories with others. What I found is that not only did other people like reading my blog, but they could relate to it and then would tell me their stories. In the end, I think we all feel better knowing we’re not alone on this crazy ride called parenthood.

When I look back on the last year and read some of my previous blogs, a few things cross my mind. The first is that I should really do a better job editing. I have found so many typos and errors in grammar, but in my defense I usually write them at 5 a.m., during nap time when I am trying to accomplish several other things and in situations like what just happened…

Picture this, Lake In The Hills, July 2011.  Tom is away on a camping trip...drunken debotchery known as Country Thunder.  The kids are playing nicely while I try jot some ideas down. Suddenly Colin walks up to me and I realize he has his second dirty diaper in 20 minutes. As I try to finish my thought and then change him when Maddie proclaims she has wet her pants because she was concentrating too hard on making her Barbies talk to each other. Luckily it was a leak and not a flood. I got her to the bathroom before any major cleanup was in order and grabbed her wet underwear and wet shorts and threw them in the laundry room and they landed behind the dryer. I got a kids hanger that was in there, crawled on top of the washer and dryer and tried to fish the articles of clothing out. I determined I needed a larger hanger and then proceeded to drop that behind the washer. I used the kids hanger to fish out the larger hanger and then was finally able to save the shorts and underwear from becoming a laundry casualty. Keep in mind the whole time I am doing this maneuver, Colin is behind me kicking my feet and pushing my head and neck that is already lodged in a precarious position between a shelf and the dryer. I hopped off and at that point he had moved on to playing in the dog’s water bowl. I grabbed him to change his diaper and unbeknownst to me, he had the diaper cream and by the time I noticed, he had smeared it all over himself.

Ok, so now that we have established why I lack technical writing skills, I’d like to take this opportunity to do a “Year In Review.”

1) Maddie is now 4 and Colin is 2.

2) I still hate grocery shopping and despite my vow to never use the cartoon cart EVER again, I occasionally cave and 99.9% of the time regret it.

3) I still do all the “dirty work.”

4) I can’t wait until November when I can bring “Bubble Pop” our "Elf On A Shelf” out so I can start using him to threaten my children again.

5) Maddie has taken dance class consistently since last fall and does not try to kick a soccer ball during dance class like she did pirouettes during soccer.

6) We have not had any major stomach bugs (knock on wood) since February.

7) Maddie has expanded her eating repertoire by adding cheeseburgers and the occasional raw broccoli. The good news is that whatever she doesn’t eat, Colin moves over to her plate and finishes.

8) I continue to be late for everything, but received vindication when my mother-in-law came to pick us up to go to American Girl and saw Maddie freak out over wanting to change outfits while I was trying to get Colin to our neighbor’s. When I returned, Maddie had on a pair of pants that were two inches too short, a shirt where her belly was hanging out, socks and sandals. By the time we got her in suitable outfit that wasn’t out of the Goodwill bag, we missed our train.

9) Colin’s incidents of getting kicked out of the daycare for biting have decreased, but he did just get kicked out for pushing a baby to the ground on Wednesday.

10) I am dreading when the bees, wasps and hornets come out in full force.

11) Cowpants only comes up every so often now.

12) Colin is doing great in his big boy bed while Maddie continues to struggle with her transition into “No Naps.” She still needs the light on every night, door open just a crack and her Cinderella CD on repeat all night. We have developed a very unique system where she gets two quarters when she goes to bed; one to use to pay for a question, a drink of water or whatever excuse she has to leave her bed once we put her down. The other is for the middle of the night. If she can avoid sleeping in our bed, she gets to keep the quarter in the morning. The first night she came into my room at 3 a.m. crying, threw the money on my night stand and said, “I don’t want your money!” Thankfully things have improved since.

13) Maddie is still the boss of me.

14) Colin still licks inappropriate things and has even been known to put a handful of dirt in his mouth in the yard and then proceed to throw it up all over himself.

15) I still haven’t found that magic wand I’ve been hoping for, but have become better at realizing my house is just a perpetual mess and that I have little, saggy boobs.

16) I have not gotten on a plane since February and I plan on selling my Sit ‘n Stand stroller in an upcoming garage sale.

17) I am down a dog because Taz bit Colin. There is a blog about it that I never finished and never posted. Maybe someday I will. I can tell you Colin still asks about him to this day and Maddie has been the strongest of all of us through the whole experience.

18) I’ve discovered a few other things I don’t like playing with my kids and they involve sitting in a kiddy pool talking like Little Mermaid’s mom and pushing the kids on the swings with the sprinkler on.

19) I have received my Group Fitness Certification despite trying to study in the yard while the kids played and was asked 415 times if I could talk like Little Mermaid’s mom, 244 times to push them in the swing and had my name called 4,531 times. And I thought college provided a lot of distractions.

20) I now post a weekly blog on a local community website, but it is called "Write This Stuff Down."

21) I write a monthly column for Kane County Magazine.

22) I've been told I'm too vulgar and to that I say, "Tough shit."

23) I now own the URL, .org, .net. etc. But they are under construction until I can cut the apron strings from

24) I have written 34 blogs and have only posted 32. One is the aforementioned blog about losing Taz and the other is about Sex and Marriage that I couldn’t get approval to post (from Tom). Maybe someday I can edit it to make it suitable for posting.

25) Just when I think I have nothing else to write about, these two knuckleheads provide me with inspiration. They are a bottomless pit of blog fodder and enjoyment.

26) I have received so many comments, compliments, words of encouragement and general sympathy for my blog that I cannot even express how thankful I am that people are actually reading my writing and enjoying it.

So, who knows where this writing thing will take me. I never in a million years thought I would run into a guy at my college homecoming, who I haven’t seen in 12 years, and have him tell me he and his wife read my blog all the time and love it. For all of you who have given me encouragement and positive feedback, I cannot even tell you how much it means to me. Putting your writing and your life out there puts you in an extremely vulnerable position. It is all this support that keeps me writing and sharing my little world of Madelyn and Colin. All this for a bunch of stories about my crazy life and my crazy kids who are likely just like your kids. Oh, and my mom wants everyone to know that she never said “shit,” but I have to tell you my first word was “shit” and I will give you one guess who I learned it from.

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