I
focused on Christmas and Tom decided to build an ice rink in our backyard. Tom came in and asked if it was OK for him to
delve into this project, gave me the budget and a look of an 8-year old boy in
the body of a 35-year old man and I agreed.
Secretly, it really brought back memories of my own childhood because my
grandpa used to freeze our backyard and when he didn’t, the park two blocks
from our house had a rink each winter. I
gave Tom my blessing and developed a new motto, “When life gives you winter,
make an ice rink.”
Now,
normally Tom’s project management skills aren’t the strongest, but he had the
help of our neighbors, one of which built a stellar rink in his yard last
winter. I figured between them and a few
Miller Lite’s, the job would get done and I’d be practicing my double Lutz and
triple Sow kows by December 10. Of
course, I forgot to factor in that we are the Stien Family and nothing ever
goes smoothly no matter how hard we try.
Let’s
start at the beginning. Within hours of
agreeing to this project, I looked out in my backyard and saw a hockey rink
suitable for the Chicago Blackhawks to practice on. I must have missed the memo that the Winter
Classic was being held in our yard. See
photo below. These guys used so much
lumber our neighbor came over to see if we were putting an addition on our
house.
Once
the frame was up all we needed to do was wait for the liner to come so we could
fill-er up. The liner wasn’t going to be
ready for several days but luckily the forecast looked too warm anyway. Surely by the time the liner was ready, this
unseasonable warm weather would be a thing of the past and we’d be fine, right?
We
got a call that the liner was ready to be picked up, but the shop isn’t open on
weekends, closes at 5 pm and did I mention it is in Wisconsin? Guess who got to load the kids up and drive
45 minutes to pick it up? Moi. (That’s French for ME!) Tom and I were going out that night and my
mother-in-law was taking the kids to a movie and then watching them for the
remainder of the evening. I had to
high-tail it up to Wisconsin (luckily just over the border) feed the kids a
quick lunch at McDonald’s and hop back in the car and get them back to our
house by 1:15 since the movie started at 1:40.
Of course, I am not a big fan of McDonald’s and I was lucky there was a
Subway right next to it (I think the only 2 restaurants in the small town we
were in) and grabbed a sandwich. Of
course the kids saw the massive array of chips and I was forced to buy them
each a bag. And by force I mean, Colin
was pretty much shop lifting them and trying to smuggle them out of the Subway. My intention was to skip the fries at McD’s,
but somehow I just couldn’t wrap my mind around how to order just 8 nuggets,
milk and apples (probably because they won’t let you…it is either 6, 10 or 20
piece…no in-between). I said screw it
and they both got Happy Meals.
We
scarfed our lunches and headed back home.
Mission accomplished. I got them
home in time, the liner was in our possession and I was on my way to meet Tom
downtown for a Blackhawks game. Whew. Of course, the kids then went to the movies
with Grandma, ate their weight in popcorn and sucked down blue slushies. Just for good measure, they baked Christmas
cookies later in the day. Needless to
say I awoke to Maddie covered in blue chunky puke at 3 a.m.
The
next day the boys got to work installing the liner and despite the fact the
temperature was a balmy 40 degrees, they decided to fill it with water. I could hear the hose running and envisioned
dollar bills exiting my house by the minute.
Luckily our neighbor brought his hose over to chip in some of the
water. I went out to check out the
situation and said a prayer to my grandfather who is normally the patron saint
of good weather. I guess my prayer was
lost in translation his definition of “good” is warm weather not cold. We woke up in the morning and the rink was no
longer filled with water. Strike one.
They
were able to fix it and set out to re-fill the pool, I mean rink again. I was trying to get the kids settled down to
watch a movie shortly before bedtime and have a little relaxation time
myself. Unfortunately, since Tom was
spending all his spare time in the yard playing pool boy meant I got to be single-mom
inside with the kids. Rather than relax
I found myself with a stomach-ache just listening to the water flowing, yet
again. I was cleaning up in the kitchen
and looked out the back window and realized that the back panel of the rink was
detached and could see water pouring out, yet again. My Irish temper rose quickly and I raced out
to the backyard. Tom was nowhere in
site, but our two neighbors turned and looked at me with the fear of God in
their eyes. My first instinct was to
swear at them like a truck-driver and ask what the f*ck happened this
time. They gave me some smug answer that
almost caused me to jump and run in my new swimming pool (Baywatch style),
straight towards them and strangle them.
Instead, I dropped a few more f-bombs and threatened to divorce
Tom. Little did I know Tom was on the
other side of the fence clearing out our neighbor’s (not involved in the
project) storm sewer that was covered with mulch. Strike two.
I
decided to put this day out of its misery and just go take a shower and go to
bed. Of course, I took about a 30 second
shower in order to conserve water. Tom
came in and I tried my hardest not to come down on him about the second failed
attempt since I knew he was just as angry as I was. We agreed that they went overboard and made
the rink too big and that filling it was like making ice cubes…without an ice
tray…in Florida. The ground was still
too soft and there was no earthly way the water was going to freeze at this
point.
I
agreed, however, that since we were already in this project about $300, not
including the forthcoming water bill that we needed to do something in order to
have a rink. He agreed to scale it down
and give it one more shot. He was
pouting a bit because making it smaller meant only the kids would be able to
skate. Funny, I thought the rink was
really for the kids anyway? The brain-trust of neighbor boys came the next
morning to assess the situation yet again.
Out the window went the plan to “scale it down” and they decided to
simply disassemble our swing-set and move it off to the side in order to make
the rink longer length-wise and avoid creating such a deep end of the pool, I
mean rink.
After
trips 55 and 56 to Home Depot, the rink was disassembled, the swing set was
moved and they worked to give it one more shot. I’m not sure what measures they took to ensure
this thing stayed together, but I heard something about rebars? I wasn’t sure what the meant so I Googled it
and here’s what by good friend Wikipedia told me:
A
rebar (short for reinforcing bar), also known as reinforcing steel,
reinforcement steel, rerod, or a deformed bar, is a common steel bar, and is
commonly used as a tensioning device in reinforced concrete and reinforced
masonry structures holding the concrete in compression.
….or
putting up a Godforesaken pool, I mean ice rink in your yard when it doesn’t go
below freezing. Yup, despite the
Farmer’s Almanac predicting we’d have one of the worst winters in history, the
minute we put that rink up (and I bought the kids snow boots), global warming
set in and we have had the warmest December in history.
Just
to give you a snapshot of high temps in December:
December
6: 37degrees
December
7: 34 degrees
December
8: in the 20s
December
9: OMG IT SNOWED!!!
December
10: 27 degrees
December
11: 45 degrees
December
12: in the 40s
December
13: in the 50s
December
14: 56!!! (broke out that pink dress I never got to wear in Jamaica)
December
15: 57!!!! (broke out my new bikini I never got to wear in Jamaica)
December
16: 34 degrees
December
17:36 degrees
December
18: 40 degrees
December
19: 36 degrees
December
20: 35 degrees
December
21: 36 degrees
December
22: 34 degrees (close, but no cigar)
December
23: 34 degrees
December
24: 37 degrees
December
25: 44 degrees (I’m dreaming of a Brown Christmas?)
December
26: 44 degrees
December
27: 40 degrees
December
28: 30 degrees (WOOHOO!! Freezing!!!)
December
29: 46 degrees (Never mind.)
December
30: 40 degrees
December
31: 39 degrees (Happy Frickin’ New Year.)
Of
course, everyone keeps telling us that this means we will be skating clear
through April, but that doesn’t comfort me at all. Right now, I just (and I can’t believe I am
even typing this) want it to freeze already!
I woke up this morning and saw the water moving a great deal and got a
little worried until I realized it was just the wind. So, now we have a wave pool. It is a regular water park at the Stien
house. I say if it doesn’t freeze, we
just move the swing-set back over and have the slide go directly into the pool,
I mean rink and then we can really have some fun!
Did
I mention in the midst of all this, the kids got a case of pinkeye and double
ear infections? One of the last nights
Tom was filling the pool, I mean rink, he looked inside the backdoor to see
Colin vomiting all over the kitchen floor.
Of course, once Tom got the rink finished and just waiting for it to
freeze, he got sick too.
So,
I haven’t been able to act out my favorite scenes from Ice Castles (excluding
the one where she wipes out into a bank of tables and chairs and goes blind)
set to “Through The Eyes of Love,” but I have my figure skates sharpened and
sparkly costume ready to go when it does.
 |
| Tom and I practicing our moves for our rink.... |
Great story, I got my laughs in for the day. Here in NYC, it is a warm winter also. Yesterday, Jan 8 - it was 62! Maybe next year right? Leave it to our winters to only be unpredicatable when we really need them not to be.
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